Dear Remington: Today's entry is more about a "Mommie" adventure than a "Reme" adventure. There are days that I feel that I am doing a great job as your Mom; and then there are others that I feel very inadequate and inept. Each day I learn something new and/or a better way to care for you -- to meet all of your needs, help you with your development, and communicate. So, with encouragement from your Grandma, I went on my very first errand by myself. I went to a local store here in Tooele and planned for a very short outing. I had fed you, changed you, and made sure you were dry before going into the store. You were calm and quiet until I hoisted your car seat onto the shopping cart, and then you started screaming at the top of your lungs. This behavior is a little new for Mommie and scares me when it happens, you are hard to soothe. However, last time this happened (when I was home with Daddy) all it took to calm you down was walking from room to room in the house. It took about 10 minutes until you stopped crying. Today, I thought that you would calm down because we would be moving. After about 7 minutes of you crying non-stop (and at the top of your lungs) while I was worrying about you, a woman whom I've never met came up to me and said: "Stop ignoring and neglecting your baby; can't you hear it crying?!" I replied: "Ma'am, I am not ignoring my baby. Is his crying bothering you? Would you like me to leave?" She harrumphed, turned and stomped off. I walked you a little more. I felt awful, and I felt guilty, and I felt like a horrible Mom because of her words. I decided I'd walk around outside and see if that would help...it did. The moment I took you off the cart and just carried you in the infant carrier you stopped crying...I guess you didn't like the angle you were at on the shopping cart and preferred the motion and swaying of me holding the carrier. The reason I am writing about this experience is because I learned something important. People aren't always nice, empathetic, and can be judgmental without even knowing another Human being's situation, but there is a choice. Although this woman's words affected me greatly in a negative way, I held it together for your sake. I chose to continue with our experience and finish the outing and errand (the melt-down came later). I also learned that attitude is everything -- it truly
can determine altitude. While I was "holding it together" I was positive things would be okay and it was. While I want to always protect you from the mean-spirited, hateful people of the world, I know I won't be able to in every circumstance. I hope for you that you will choose the right attitude to have the most positive experience, even amidst a not so positive moment. I also hope for you that you will surround yourself with family, friends, and mentors who will build you up instead of bring negativity to you. Luckily for me, when the melt-down came I had your Daddy, Aunt Joyce, and Pediatrician to act as my support system and assure me I did nothing wrong. In fact, the Pediatrician felt that either the woman who accused me of ignoring you and neglecting you has never had Children of her own, or that all of her children were very calm and not very fussy. It is probably the former which is true...so I am taking the lessons and the moment in stride.
I love you with my whole heart, mind, and strength. You mean the world and more to me, Remington. I hope you will always know that.
Love Forever and x Infinity,
Mommie.
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